ThesummerI;
14岁的夏天
MyfatherwasatrydoctorwhoraisedourfarminsouthernIndiana。Awhitewoodehepropertyhadtobesdpaihreeyears。ThatwastobemyjobthesummerIwas14。Ifthatwasn'tbadenoughnews,oneJunedaymydaddecidedIshouldextendthefence。
&ingattheedgeofthesouthpasture,myfathertookoffhisdwipedhisforehead。Theedtoastandofhemlocks300yardsaway。“Fromheretothere—that'santourfence,”hesaid。“Figureabout110holes,threefeetdeep。Keepthedigger'sbladessharpandyouprobablydigeightortenaday。”
InatightvoiceIsaidIdidn'tseehowIishthatwithalltheotherstuffIhadtodo。Besides,I'dplalesoftballandfishing。“Whydon'terauger?”Isuggested。
“Persdon'tlearnanythingfromwork。Aourfeeachusathingortwo。”hereplied,slappiheback。
Iflioshowmyrese。Iadmiredalotaboutmydad,aorememberthosethimadathim。OnI'dbeenalongononeofhishousecalls,Iwatchedhimtellasianshewasgoingthtbeforeheleftorhewasn'tleaving。Heheldherhandahaheroutofbed。Shesaid,“Why,Doc,Idofeelbetter。”
Iaskedhimlaterhoouldgetbetter。“Idon't,”hesaid,“butifyoukeeptheirmoraleup,mostpatientswillgetthihemselves。”
IfIwaobebymyself,Iwouldretreattoariverbirchbythestreamthatfedourpond。Itfroundlevel,andI'dwedgemybackupagairunkatheother。ThenIwouldlookattheskyorreadorpretend。
ThatsummerIhadn'thadmuytree。Oneeveningmyfathera,hesaid,“Irememberyintothattreewhelekid。”
“Idon't。”Isaidsullenly。
Helookedatmesharply。“What'sgotintoyou?”hesaid。
Amazingly,Iheardmyselfsay,“whatthehelldoyoucare?”ThenIranofftothebarn。Sittia,Itriednottocry。
Myfatheropehedoorandsatoppositeme。Fihisgaze。
&'ssee。Youfeelstrangeinyourownbody,likeitdoesn'tworkthesamewayitalwayshad。Youthinknooneelseislikeyou,andyouthinkI'mtoohardonyouanddon'tappreciatewhatyoudoaroundhere。Youevenwonderhowyougotintoafamilyasdullasours。”
Iwasastohektreaightthoughts。
&hingis,yourbodyisg,”heued。“Andthatgesyourentireself。You'vegotalotmoremalehormonesinyourblood。And,son,there'snotamaninthisworldwhodlewhatthatdoestoyouwhenyou'refourteen。”
Ididn'tknowwhattosay。IknewIdidn'tlikewhatevereningtome。FormonthsI'dfeltoutoftouchwitheverything。Iwasirritablealessandsadfornoreason。AndbecauseI'ttalkaboutit,Ibegantofeelreallyisolated。
&hingsthat'llhelpyou,”mydadsaidafterawhile,“iswork,hardwork。”
Assoohat,angercamesuddenly。“Fine,”Isaidivoiaormedout。
&hersaidworkhemeantwposth,slammingthatdiggerintothegrounduntilIhadtoughyhands。
Ihelpedmyfatherpatchthebarnroof。Weworkedihen,helookedatmeandsaid,“Youaren'taloneyouknow。”
Startled,Istaredathim。HowcouldhepossiblyknowwhatI'dbeenthinking?
“Thinkaboutthis,”hesaid。“Ifyoudrewalinefromyourfeetdownthesideofourbarhaanyouldtthingintheworld。Soyou'reneveralone。Nooneis。”
Istartedtue,butthenotionofbeioalloflifemademefeelsogoodthatIletmythoughtsquietdown。
AsIwhthesummer,Ibegantonoticemyshbigger。Iwasabletodomorework,aedpayiiontodoingitwell。Ihadhatedhole-digging,butitseemedtoreleasesomeknotiheadrivingih。SlowlyIstartedtofeelIcouldgetthroughthisrottentime。
Oheendofthesummer,Igotridofalotofjunkfrommyyoungerdays。AfterwardIwenttositinmytreesasakindoflastvisittotheworldofmyboyhood。Icouldfeelthetruhmyfeetweakehinghadgottenatit—aplainage。
&ernoonIfihefenyfathersittingonagrathesouthpasture。“You'rethinkingabouthowlongthisgrassisgoingtoholdoutwithoutrain?”Iasked。
“Yep,”hesaid。“Howlongyouthi?”
“Another>
&urnedamedeepintheeyes。OfcourseIwasn'treallytalkingaboutthepastureasmuchasIwastryingtofindoutifmyopiohim。Afterawhilehesaid,“Youcht。”Hepausedandadded,“Youdidafinejobonourfence。”
“Thanks。”Isaid,almostoverwhelmedbytheforceofhisapproval。
“Youknow,”hesaid,“ytoturnouttobeonehellofaman。Butjustbecauseygrowmeaoleavebehihingyoulikedwhenyou>
Ikhinkingaboutmytree。Hereatohisjacketpodpulledoutapieceofwoodthesizeofadeckofcards。“Imadethisforyou。”hesaid。